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Mika Brzezinski: Don't Forget To Have Kids
This article is a refreshing aproach to the question of career versus having kids, and when.
I won't say I fully agree with the author, but it's a good starting point for a discussion.
More and more, young women have to put themselves the question.
They study for much longer than before and getting the firts job is getting harder and harder. however, the biological clock does not stop. Science hasn't still found a way of prolonging the fertile period. In an age when some women in their sixties look as if they are in their forties, this seems a bit ironic. But it's the sad reality.
Due to the longer studies and the delayed entry into the job market, which is more and more difficult, here in Portugal its not infrequent to be in one's thirties and still live with one's parents.
On the other hand, syatistics say young girls have their first sexual experience earlier and earlier.
Dies this make any sense? Hardly.
The fact is I don't have an answer for the dilemma. I don't think though, that staying at home raising kids, even when financially that is possible, is a good decision. Not good for the mother (work is an important part of our accomplishment as humans), not a good example for the kids.
I hear some young women up to are choosing to keep their eggs before they are 35, which allows them another 5-7 years to get pregnant. it may be a good idea, not for anyone though.
Podcast: From Divorce to Besties
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How did Gabe and Lisa go from being spouses to divorcees to best friends?
Do they hold any residual anger toward each other? Hurt feelings? Secret
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4 years ago
Hi,
ReplyDeleteYour post made me think of how sad I really feel sometimes about not having a kid. I'm 36 and I've been trying so hard to keep my job for this last 5 years. I've been on temporary contracts.
I live with someone and I know he would like us to have a child. He's aware, however, that we cannot live on his salary and if I get pregnant chances are that my contract will not be renewed. Before it was what those infamous "recibos verdes" but "contratos a termo certo" don't change anything about this issue. What shall I do? I'll look on the net for how to keep your own eggs. That could give me an extra time, its true...
Hi,
ReplyDeleteI was married for 8 years and we have a 6 year-old son. I'm 38 and recently met a man who loves me and wants us to have a child. The thing is, I recently found a great job in an investment society and have to invest strongly in it for at least the next two years. I'll have to travel a lot. There's no way I can make a pause now to have another child. I'm afraid my lover won't understand this. Besides, things are a bit difficult between him and my son. I feel time is running out for me. I'm glad you brought this matter to the blog because I know there are many women in my situation.
It seems men want children and women cannot have them.
ReplyDeleteJanice, please see my latest post about the biological clock. I guess you'll find it interesting. New tools seem to be developing and with them new prospects for women with a career.
I don't agree with your comment that women shouldn't stay home and look after the kids. Why is that not good for the mother and not a good example for the kids?
ReplyDeleteI turned down jobs this year to look after my kids as they're still babies. I think that this 'job' is a very important one. It makes me happy and my children are happy. I can go back to work when they're a bit older. I don't see how that can be a bad thing to be able to give your children 100% attention and care if you are able to rather than paying someone else a small fortune to do it for you.
Dear anonymous,
ReplyDeleteFor most people, both men and women, work is an important area of their lives and crucial to their accomplishment as human beings. It may also constitute a good opportunity for the kids to understand what it means to earn a living. As lots of things, it takes an effort.
From what you say, I understand you'll be able to go back to work when your children are a bit older. That's great. I don't think that's the rule in Portugal, though. It's so difficult to find a job nowadays that most women cannot afford to leave what they conquered with such difficulty lest they won't be able to get it back. I'm not saying that's good but it's the harsh reality.
I agree both with Clara and Anonymous. Today not being afforded the opportunity to raise ones' own children is a harsh reality. Society has become so demanding that it takes two to support a family. However, I also think that if its possible, with some sacrifice, that being able to stay home at least for the first 2ys of your child's life is a blessing for both mother and child!
ReplyDelete