9 May 2010

Narcissistic


Most narcissistic see themselves as being great and for that want to be admired and to be the center of attention at all times. They have no ability to empathize with others, once this requires the ability to focus on the other instead of focusing on themselves. They tend to be arrogant with feelings of superiority, but can also be very charming at a first impression - though their relationships are usually short term because they cannot maintain them. They usually have this double standard with envy: many times they envy those around, and use them, but always believing that it is the other way around – others envy them because they are so great. When it comes to criticism or frustration they lack ability to deal with it and react with rage, humiliation, indifference or even pessimism.
For a wife/husband that is trying to share a life with such a person it can become unbearable, as everything is left for the other part to do - as for example house chores – because small and insignificant things are not for them to waste time, they are to superior for it! And one by one all is left for others to do, and without any comprehension of the unfairness and damage that it is causing to the partner. Many wife/husband portrayed their narcissistic partners as wanting a “mother/father” and a maid.
The search for the day and moment when the other will finally realize their value and that they are having too much on their laps can be too long and painful and probably that day never comes. And then we ask: what am I doing with such a person? But it is not easy. Sometimes in adolescents you also feel those characteristics, but most of the times it does not mean they have this personality disorder, it’s just a phase…

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