Wishing for change

We're all afraid of change. Yet we wish for it. How can you explain the paradox? I think the human species is quite prone to habits (as animals are) and on the other hand as a thinking species we thrive for change.

Changing mean losses but it also means new opportunities. Change means anxiety and fears but also hope.

Lots of people keep saying: "I want to change. I really do. But...". This ambivalence is quite normal. You know you need to change but you stick to old habits and pattern of thoughts and behaviour.

The most frequent question is: "Tell me how I can change". There's no answer to that question specially if you are an adult. When you're a child you are supposed to ask parents and other authorities for directions. Not anymore when you're a grown-up. You can ask for professional help which is not the same thing. A psychotherapist doesn't give directions. Its job is to help you thinking not to point to solutions. The path to change has to discovered by the person if possible with the help of a professional, be him a psychotherapist or a coach. Transformations happen within people and sometimes they are not noticed right away. Change is about hope for progress. Do you really want it?

 

Dog Phobia: a cognitive behavioral perspective

Most specific phobias (like dog phobia) arise in childhood. Modeling (seeing frightened parents for example) could be one of the causes, as well as conditioning experiences (for example, seeing a person being bitten by a dog) and receiving negative information (stories of friends/family, films, books).

When fear is interfering with daily life it's good to find help. Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) is a well-known and efficient therapy to tackle fear and anxiety. It consists of 2 parts: cognitive therapy and behavioral therapy. This is because in CBT, cognitions as well as behavior are thought to play a crucial role in the way we feel (for example: scared).

Our behavior can change our thoughts and feelings. Besides that, our thoughts can change our feelings and behavior.

People who are afraid of something, tend to avoid the situation or object they fear. In the short term, avoidance helps because you will feel less afraid. But in the long term, this behavior creates persistence or even an increase of the anxiety. Behavioral therapy focuses on changing behavior to overcome fear. Step by step, under professional guidance, you will start exposing yourself to the things you fear. This allows you slowly adapt to situations that you find difficult.

Cognitive therapy is all about the way of thinking. Your thoughts will be examined during treatment. You will learn to think differently about your fear. New, helping thoughts will be created that will help you overcome your fears. For example, people with anxiety disorders often think that the risk of danger is very great. The question is whether this is true? Are these thoughts realistic? What would be a more helpful, realistic thought?